No words can express how I feel right now. I’m enlighten on my no direction life, no perspectives, and no goals. Yes, in my previous blogs, I always talk on my drive to fight the system and to become a human rights lawyer,but in the alternate way I can’t and will never be one.

I came to realize that my goal as lawyer will always be a dream, since the economic bystanders to be a lawyer is so high and no tuition loan or scholarship to avail, I am doom to be an another reserve force in the media industry. I will be part of a repressive ideological medium that presents the unreal social strata. This is  how the system wants us to be, a slave that will yearn for economical survival. Then, in the business of the so called glits and glamour, they’ll blind you of pseudo progressive reforms, which is a mask for their anti people policies.

I know in myself that my dream of a repressive free society will be possible if I continue to fight. But how will I fight if no one will join? How can I do this when all of the people are passive on the current system? How will I do this when the people are blinded with the state’s ideology through their apparatuses?

In my classes in UP, there are professors who’ll tell you to organize and educate the students. There said that education cannot only be attain in the four corners of the classroom but through basic masses integration,meaning integrating your life to the basic sectors, such as the peasants, workers, urban poor, and others. The economics they revolve in are different from the economics presented in our high school economic classes neither in college. They are the 99% of the society who are repress in economic, political, and cultural degrees. They are the one’s who suffer from bureaucratic capitalism and social injustices.

I became aware on this issues since I joined an educational discussion.These discussions helped me assessed my life from some  who wants to be a lawyer for family prestige and wealth, to someone who wants to be human rights lawyer for the poor who seeks justice.

But, how will I become a lawyer when law schools offers towering tuition fees and miscellaneous fees. I studied in UP because I don’t pay much on tuition unlike private institutions. I wanted to study in UST law because of its history and prestige, but this will be just a dream because profit oriented institutions tend to earn money than to provide a right.

No matter how I dream it will be in my mind and will never come true. The truths is fairy tales are just stories, they don’t represent the facts that the repressive system is the problem. They will just blind you with false promises and false notion that to have everything is to be at the top. When in fact, being on top signals that attaining economical and political means.

What we need is a genuine change in system. the 99% percent should their basic social needs and the state should provide. Education should be free. The state shall provide decent housing and proper healthcare. These are the only way to end this current society,


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